MARRIAGE - SOME HOMEWORK FOR YOU AND YOUR FRIEND

You should know the answers to these questions before you go ahead with marriage. You should know YOUR own response to each of these important considerations on the list and you should know YOUR PARTNER'S response to each item on the list.

Take the time on your own to complete in writing each sentence on the list. Do it alone - just you and the Lord. At the same time, have your partner go through the same process alone.

Take the exercise seriously.

And then exchange your written responses to consider them alone in private. Pray and let the Lord speak to your heart as you pray and read the Word of God.

Get together and share your responses. If you haven't been reading your Bibles and praying together, this would be a good time to start.

If you would like to suggest amendments or additions to the 'Here's Where I'm Coming From' list, please email your suggestions to peter@heaven4sure.com.


Faith - spiritual foundation and focus

• My personal relationship with Jesus Christ is based on........
• My desire as a christian is....
• In our marriage I would like to ensure that we.....
• I worry that........

Fundamentals – husband and wife roles

• I understand from the Word of God that the husband’s role in a marriage is….
• I understand from the Word of God that the wife’s role in a marriage is….
• Society’s values and perspectives on the role of a husband and wife often conflict with the Biblical perspective in these ways:……

First Things in life - agreement on priorities

• Three things that are very, very important to me are.....

Finances

• My policy on spending is....
• My views on bills and debts are.....
• I believe in order to manage our finances successfully and to have minimum stress over money we must..........

Family - children and the approach to raising children

• When it comes to having children, I would like to have.....
• When it comes to giving our children structure, direction and discipline, I feel that we should......
• One of the priorities for our future family will be.....

Faithfulness in purity, sanctity, sex

• According to the Word of God, I believe sexual relations and activity outside of the marriage bond is......
• In the New Testament here are a couple of verses that I have come across in my reading that have spoken to me about keeping myself sexually clean......

Feelings - sensitivity

• I am particularly sensitive and hurt easily when someone.......
• One of my weaknesses in communicating is.......
• I think the basics of good communications can be summarized this way.....

Flexibility - give and take

• The only things I think we can not compromise on are.....
• I usually insist that I am right only when......

Friction and Fights

• So far in our relationship our little disagreements have been mainly over.....
• I suspect the major flashpoints that could potentially cause friction for us in the future are........

Forgiveness

• I think that when there has been a disagreement in our relationship we should.....
• My own role in resolving conflict should be.......
• I think we could avoid a major argument if we.....

Friends and Family

• My friends understand that when we get married we will need to.....
• The only potential conflict over our friends that I can see is.....
• My family background is different from my partner’s in this way....
• After we get married, I hope that my parents and my inlaws will respect our......
• One thing about our in-laws that could become a problem for us is.....

Fun - leisure

• We share the same ideas of fun, pleasure, recreation with the exception of.....

Forever - until death separates or the Lord comes.

• I understand that marriage is....
• I think the reasons why many marriages break up or fall apart are primarily....

Some helpful readings:
Genesis 2:24
Deuteronomy 24:5
Proverbs 22:6
Ephesians 5:15-6:4
Colossians 3:21
1Timothy 1:9-10, 3:11, 5:8
1Peter 3:1-7
1Corinthians 6:15-20, 7:3-5
1Thessalonians 4:1-8
Hebrews 13:4