(Warning: 100 words longer than the typical ones)
How did some couples ever get together? They seem to have nothing in common. One has all the looks in the world while their partner is as ugly as they come. One is pleasant, wise and caring but the other is abrasive, bold, rude and boastful. One is godly with spiritual desires but their life-long partner is a spiritual dud. One is bright; the other is dull. She is industrious and diligent but her husband is a classic slacker – a lazy procrastinator and a couch potato. One has serious desires to do something for God with his life but she is as flitty and shallow as they come. The examples are endless.
Abigail in 1Samuel 25 was a very ‘with it’ lady. She was a woman of spiritual insights and honored God in her life. Well spoken and wise. She recognized that David was the king-elect and that he would reign upon the throne of Israel in God’s own good timing. Her husband Nabal on the other hand, was a dud. Spiritually bankrupt, rude and ruthless, unwise, short-sighted and uncaring. When Nabal badly treated David and his men, Abigail jumped on her donkey and went to David. She apologized for her husband’s behaviour; she encouraged David to leave matters with the Lord and she discerned David’s role as future King.
Perhaps she shouldn’t have been so blunt or specific about her husband’s shortcomings. She said to David in 1 Samuel 25:25: “Don’t pay any attention to that good-for-nothing Nabal. His name means “fool,” and it really fits him!” Broadcasting the shortcomings or failures of others is not a good thing. She wasn’t perfect! But she wanted to go on record as taking sides with the Lord. No, Abigail didn’t bail out of her marriage – as pitiful a man as Nabal was. But she chose to honor the Lord in her sad marriage despite his spiritual state. Shortly afterwards, Nabal had a stroke and died ten days later.
From the Lord’s perspective, marriage is a life-long commitment. It’s not a bond that you can sever seven months or seven years after the knot is tied if things turn sour. God’s intention is that marriage is until death separates the two or the coming of the Lord intervenes.
For this cause shall a man leave father and mother,
and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh.
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
(Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5:31)
As much as you may crave to have a life long partner – far better to remain single IN the will of God then to marry someone OUT OF the will of God.
If you are praying about a partner for life there are two foundational requirements for you as a Christian:
1) it is NEVER right to date and marry someone who is not a believer! (2Corinthians 6:14) Flirt to convert approaches or missionary dating are not only dangerous, they are wrong.
2) It is not enough to just marry a believer – you must share the same spiritual desires when it comes to honoring and submitting to the Lord in your life. (1Corinthians 7:39)
But you say: “I’m already committed; we’re dating and the diamond excitement could be any day now.” Or maybe your relationship is even more advanced. Plane tickets have been purchased and the shower gifts are piling up. Is it too late to pull the plug? If you have a deep, inner sick feeling about your future (more than the common nervous jitters) – call it off regardless of the embarrassment and the shock waves it will cause within your family and circle of friends.
If you have a persistent dark cloud hanging over your head or a gut-feeling that you shouldn’t go ahead with it – DON’T! It is never too late to call off an upcoming marriage – even if you are down to the wire with only hours or minutes remaining. Once you are pronounced husband and wife, it’s too late. The embarrassment of calling it off will fade in weeks or months but if you go ahead, remember – marriage is for life.
If proceeding with your relationship is of the Lord – then husband and wife is the most beautiful of all human relationships.
NOTE: Posted on www.heaven4sure.com are two resources that may help you further assess the suitability and rightness of the relationship you are praying about. The two assessment tools are posted in the Christian Living section under Bible Bites dated September 12, 2006.